How can I help someone who is having a panic attack?

Panic attacks are overwhelming—both for the people experiencing them and for the people witnessing them. When someone you care about has panic attacks, it can be hard to know how to support them. This post contains some general strategies that can allow you to support a person who is having a panic attack.

Familiarize yourself with signs that your loved one needs support. 

Some symptoms of panic attacks are not obvious, and people who are used to having them sometimes try to conceal their symptoms so as not to disturb others. By recognizing signs of a panic attack, you can find ways to unobtrusively provide support to your loved one.

Panic attack symptoms commonly include: 

Pounding and/or accelerated heart rate

Sweating

Trembling and shaking

Shortness of breath or breathing difficulty

Chest pain

Abdominal distress

Dizziness or faintness

Feelings of detachment from reality

Fear of losing control; fear of dying

Numbness or tingling

Chills or hot flashes

If you know that your loved one has panic attacks, you can ask them about the symptoms they most commonly experience, and signs you should be on the lookout for.

Mind your tone.

Panic attack triggers can be irrational or even mysterious. When your loved one is having a panic attack, they are probably aware that there is no logical reason to panic, and that their body is reacting to an imagined threat rather than a real one. That said, logic cannot stop a panic attack. If you are in a position to provide support to someone having a panic attack, avoid trying to talk the person out of feeling this way, and beware of patronizing or minimizing their anxiety.

Regulate your own distress.

It can be upsetting to see someone you care about panicking, especially because, again, you cannot talk them out of it. However, someone who is having a panic attack can benefit from having someone to help them co-regulate–meaning, if they sense that you are calm, it can unconsciously help them regulate the reaction their body is having.

In order to regulate your own distress, pay attention to your breathing, your heart rate, and your thoughts. Self-soothe if needed to keep your body calm. Center yourself in your intention to be attentive and supportive to your loved one who is panicking. 

Encourage a change of environment

Even people who have well-developed repertoires of coping strategies for panic attacks sometimes have trouble remembering what can help them manage their symptoms in the moment. You may be able to help them cope by finding ways to change the environment the person was in when the panic attack was triggered. For example, by stepping outside, a person can get some distance from any external triggers that set off or worsened the panic attack. 

Encourage engagement in a physical activity

Engaging in a physical activity, like going for a walk or run, is pretty standard therapeutic advice for coping with panic attacks. When a person is panicking, their body is preparing itself to fight or flee–so getting active actually helps the body to work through the underlying chemical process that sustains the panic attack. If your loved one seems to be struggling with implementing a coping strategy, offer to go for a brisk walk with them.

Strategize with your loved one.

The strategies above may be generally helpful to any person experiencing a panic attack, but your loved one likely has ideas about what will be helpful to them specifically. Pick a time when they are calm and regulated, and ask to brainstorm ideas about how you can be included as a support in their repertoire of coping strategies.